Everything Changes
This article is courtesy of Christian Single.
Change. It’s inevitable. Looking back on my 27 years, I have a long history of it. I changed states at the age of 10, changed schools in the prime of my high school career, changed homes for college life, changed roommates at least once a year, changed jobs countless times, changed boyfriends more than jobs, and the list goes on.
I would consider myself an advanced changer – a pro at handling life-altering encounters. But this past year’s changes have been different, and I don’t seem to be adapting as well as usual. It seems like every time I put my foot on solid ground, my next step is shifting sand, and I have to work hard at finding my balance again.
The list of life-altering events includes losing a friend to a car wreck, taking my first big-girl job, living alone, breaking off a relationship, saying good-bye to dear friends, adjusting to new friends, and walking through family troubles. I managed to deal with the first few, but somewhere between losing friends and moving in with myself, I blew the whistle and asked God for a time-out and a new team.
So far I haven’t seen any time-out, and it doesn’t look like I’ll be getting a new team any time soon.
In the middle of my breakdown, I racked my brain trying to figure out why this set of changes has been more brutal than usual. Then it hit me: I am becoming an adult – the bill-paying, 401(k)-having, on-my-own kind. And I’m doing this all by myself.
I had pictured doing this life thing with another person so that we could help each other through awkward journeys. But looking around, it’s just me walking into this stage of decision-making. Most of the time I don’t mind sole responsibility, but when I hit those big bumps, it would be nice to have someone near. Why didn’t anyone tell me that this was going to be so hard, so lonely, so fearful? And how do I fit in to this next stage of life?
On a recent visit home, I got my answer. I was doing a late-night pity drive around my
hometown, dwelling on all the changes. I was asking God why and giving Him the new team spiel. In the middle of my plea-bargaining, God spoke very gently into my spirit: “I am still the same. I haven’t changed. I am the same God who moved you in high school, changed your career path, and held you when you said good-bye to your first love. I am the same God of Abraham, Isaac, Joseph, Ruth, Daniel, and Paul.”
Once God had my ear, He pressed into me a little deeper, reminding me of Jeremiah 17:7-8: “Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence indeed is the LORD. He will be like a tree planted by water: it sends its roots out toward a stream, it doesn’t fear when heat comes, and its foliage remains green. It will not worry in a year of drought or cease producing fruit.” He asked me who I was confident in – myself (a human who fails) or the perfect Creator of the universe.
During that drive, God and I took a long look in the rearview mirror of my past, and a funny thing happened. I saw how He has faithfully been in every step. He never let me down or gave up on me. He never allowed the hard times to take over. His promises have always proven true. No matter what is going on, He is leading every step of this season.
I’m still not sure what to do with all this change, but I know if my roots are grounded deep in the Lord, then my leaves will stay green when the heat comes. I feel confident that I can keep living my life and facing inevitable changes, knowing my God will remain the same.
Amy Kluttz is an event planner who lives in a downtown Nashville, Tenn., apartment. In her free time, she enjoys coffee with friends, running in the park, and watching football.